Personal.

Yesterday I decided that it was time to put in serious work to get back to the point that I want to be in life. Throughout 2013 I had put on a lot of weight, well a lot in my mind personally although it was nowhere near the point I was at before I had lost weight the first time. The first time I had managed to lose over 50lbs in 6 months (this was about 3.5 years ago), and yesterday started the journey of once again trying to drop down to 155lbs, clean eating, and daily running. Many think I'm crazy for the fact that I love to run, but I find it as a major stress reliever.

I was going through pictures and found many that made me realize how much last year I had went to food as a crutch, and had simply gotten lazy from being so busy with everything going on. Part of it was also the amazing food and gelato throughout Europe, but come on, who wouldn't enjoy some good gelato while they could have it.

The deadline I am setting for the goal is Graduation in mid-December. You're only young once, and right now is the best time in order to improve who I truly am. Slowly since the beginning of the year I have been working at losing weight, but now is when I am going to truly put in "work" you could say.
I have learned that if you want to change something in your life, you yourself are the only person that can change that. One cannot simply rely upon others in order to change the things that make them unhappy, because there is nothing that other person can do unless they are having a negative impact on your life, and then they should simply leave and never come back.

Not only have changes been made based on weight, but this year I have been figuring out who I am after a somewhat-not-really rough start to the year when a relationship was ended. Since then I have learned that the most important thing you can do throughout your life is put yourself first. When you do that you allow yourself to be the happiest that you can be, and in turn can help make those around you happy also, of course when its the right timing to do so and when your help is wanted. Happiness is not only a mental and emotional state that can be seen, but can also be a physical by the way you carry yourself, take care of yourself, and present yourself.

Maybe my thoughts are too harsh, but I have learned that the only way to truly see changes in your life is through having reality checks, or someone being completely blunt (sorry to those friends who experience that side when its probably not the best time to have that side come out, just know I still love y'all). Happiness is not just a state of mind, its a way of living every day of your life. Right now I am not fully unhappy with who I am, or my weight, I just know I have a lot of growing and changing and improving to still do.

In the meantime I am going to be a little ball-sy and post a picture from about 2 years ago to the present. Its not to receive sympathy, but to simply push me to be able to show a change come graduation, and even before then, with even having the possibility to inspire others. I can say in the past week I have managed to lose 5lbs already, which is an even better to this path I have decided to go back down, again. (Picture on the left is 2012, and right is 2014, sorry the lighting in the second one sucks)

There was one compliment I received, even though I am self-conscious over 4th of July and that was when a girl said she admired my confidence that I had with having no hesitations to be in a two piece and wishes she was that comfortable in her own body. I thought this girl was beautiful, but it just goes to show if you are truly confident in yourself, it shows. Confidence is one of the most amazing and beautiful things a person can have, regardless of your appearance be you. Other peoples opinions do not matter, as long as you are happy with yourself, and always remember a smile is the best thing that a person can wear.

P.S sorry for the late night rambling, haha.